Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
