so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
