your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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