All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
