1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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