Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
