what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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