I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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