Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
