Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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