he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
