your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
