like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
