do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
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