The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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