is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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