I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
