So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
