At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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