Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
