yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
