The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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