I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
