I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
