we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
