um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
