google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
