I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
