WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
