Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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