carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
