She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
