when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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