On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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