You're so nebulous sometimes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
