So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
