soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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