How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
