don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
