i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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