yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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