If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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