Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
