Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize