My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
What a dumb baby whore.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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