just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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