My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
