My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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