$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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