The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
